Helpless without needing any help....

Recently, i have come across some people in my life who are not only weird but can make u go crazy. There is no story of their lives. They have studied a lot but don't know what they have to do...they crib over being so very educated but have no aims in life...they cry for being not getting respect which they consider they deserve .

They have never earned a penny in their life and spend splendidly....they have every excuse to show their vulnerability but will never leave a chance to attack someone verbally, emotionally or any other possible way....

....they will approach you on every difficult point...cry before you for hours,days and some times months.......seek your advice... exhaust you to infinity......whatever you do to help them...spend your days listening to that bull shit......running around to comfort them.... waste your time to solve their illogical needs.....console them in their fears......they are back to square one...all your efforts in vain...u want to pull your hair from roots......But you are helpless , they belong to you...they may be your close friends or someone close to your heart or someone a close relative....here you don't need any help but you are helpless man...

The last two months...

Well, the last two months were full of work. I am not complaining here, as I love my work and always look at work for sanity. Even in my sorrows I have found solace in work. Mornings and after noon were spent in court rooms, late afternoons and evenings in chamber drafting cases or meeting clients. Then there were times when I would have slept at 2: 00 am, but I am happy for that. Even on 21^st Feburary-Our Anniversary- We both were working late night.

Marriages were in the air and attended few of them. Some attended alone (oh! How I abhor going without him.), some with Mr. Cheema and some were attended by Mr. Cheema alone. There were some I shun to attend. Altogether, I was jaded with the whole marriage thing…..

Then I don’t know why but I have this love-hate relationship with cooking. I may not be a perfect cook but I have a knack for cooking and have tried my hands on it many a times. Again I had craving to cook something for Mr. Cheema but lack of time did not provided me with a suitable opportunity.

I have half read books strewn all over my place. I want to finish them. One part of me is always screaming inside read it, finish it. Numerous thoughts came in my mind and I wanted to put them in words but the mind says latter and the heart says Now. I have never under stood for my entire life why mind overpowers heart, when it knows that following the heart can only make us happy. Sometimes I wonder how can someone like me has started listening to the selfish mind who had always gone with the tunes of the heart.

Now days, I hate reading newspaper. During last two months Delhi being considered as the crime capital is very intrusive for me. I am piqued by the callousness of men here. Why Delhi is getting so unsafe for women? Should I thank God that I don’t have to travel by public transport or I don’t have to take auto rickshaw or I don’t have to walk on the road…..but how can I be so surly for the million of other women. Just the thought of someone coming from the recesses and taking a woman as granted shakes me up….

To Dear Mother

The day I opened my eyes you were the first i saw,

The day i started speaking you were the person i called first,

The day i started writing you were the one to hold my hand,

Yes Mum, you were my first teacher.

You taught me to be disciplined , you taught me to be wise.

You praised me for my small victories in school,

You scolded me for every wrong i did.

You taught me love, compassion and you, only taught me tolerance.

Yes Mum, you were my first Philosopher.

You told me how beautiful i am,

You called me 'My pretty girl' whenever i felt awful,

You told me beauty lies inside the heart, you made me impeccable.

You taught me to appreciate almighty's creations

And find beauty in most worse looking things.

Yes Mum, you are the most beautiful as you make me feel beautiful.

You guided me to be myself,

You taught me to love myself and others,

You taught me giving and feeling satisfied with, little i have.

You inspired me to live my dreams,

You encouraged me to take family along with,

And to be with them through thick and thin.

Yes Mum, you are the best Team Leader in the world.

You felicitated me with rewards when i scored enormously.

With your love i improved notches by notches throughout life.

With your strong faith, i came out unharmed from every problem.

With your strong will, which runs in my blood i will never stop.

Yes, Mum you are my backbone.

My Non-Vegetarian Foray

So, here i come with one more experience. Before i start, it is pertinent to mention that i am a vegetarian. I don't touch non-vegetarian food items. But thanks to the modern and contemporary environment my parents gave me. I never acted weird as mostly all other vegetarians do. I never have any objections with friends having their non-vegetarian delicacies on my table. I don't mind until someone touches my plate with those hands stuffed in mutton keema or that chicken gravy.

Well, Mr. Cheema like mutton occasionally and he loves keema made by my 'Masi' and i have mentioned it many times in my posts that i love to cook for him. Being a possessive wife or you may call me greedy that i don't want to share any of the praises and appreciations he shower.

Lately, i have been thinking to learn and cook a mutton dish for him but could not take out time. From last two days i was at my in-laws place and it has always been a fun to be here with family and when i expressed my desire for cooking the encouragement came instantly from my ma-in-law and father in-law. My little nephew was excited with idea and at once offered his assistance to help me in the kitchen. He even volunteered to go to the Mutton Shop and this was the first time he was visiting the shop. So, when he saw the butcher cut the big meat loafs into small pieces, he got so horrified that he was about to faint.

Anyways the brave boy did not left his courage alone and collected himself and came back home with the desired quantity.So, finally i had at hand the recipe 'Punjabi Style Mutton Curry' jotted down from the www.foodfood.com, the one which was particularly provided by the super chef Sanjay Kapoor.All the ingredients well placed on the kitchen shelf and now i needed some one to wash the mutton pieces as i did not had the least desire to touch the flesh. For this i called Mr. Cheema to do this for me. He was not very happy with my idea to cook it and was finding it awful to see a vegetarian cook something which she can not even touch. But i was loving this even with my limitations. Here, i loved him helping me in the kitchen because this was the first time he was working in the kitchen other than have provided me with a glass full of milk once or twice in 3 and a 1/2 year of marriage.

I marinated the mutton in curd, turmeric powder, pepper, salt and some Coriander Powder and left it for 10 minutes till the oil in the other utensil heated up.The child was excited to learn and was asking frequent questions and after i replied him and convinced that he is not at all convinced, i explained that i am also the first timer like him in cooking this stuff. I need to concentrate so i gave the paper with the recipe to him to read. As cooking is something i have started taking interest recently and am really enjoying it. My mother and my masi are great cooks and i could never solve the puzzle why i never had the interest in cooking. But may be its all in the genes that whenever i cook, i do cook well and it is never like the first timer. I was crossing my fingers for the results to be same this too. I did not wanted my foray to be the last time.

Anyhow, the oil was hot and after heating the cloves, Dalchini, for their perfect flavour i put the marinated mutton in it and let it cook it self for about 15 minutes. The child was curious to know the results and i was even more but i never knew how to find, whether the flesh is as soft as it required because i did not wished it to be left uncooked or too soft to be eaten. I could not touch it and check so i requested my Dad-in-law to check it for me. He was very happy with my initiative and encouraged me a lot.He was so nice to check it for me umpteen times.

Well, after half an hour it was cooked in it's own juices and the marinated curd.It was the time to pour some water after and leave it on slow burner for another 15-20 minutes. After that salt to taste was added and i put the fresh Coriander to it and it was ready to to be served. The kid helped to set the table with me for Mr. Cheema. My Dad- in-law too joined the feast and i got numerous praises for my cooking from Mr. Cheema and Dad. The kid shared the praise and was too excited to taste the preparation made by his Chachi and himself offcource.Well, i was happy with the results and gain confidence to try my hand again on the non- vegetarian delicacies.

Have a look above ,it looked like this...

Just another Morning!

Well like all other days I got up at the usual time…

Had a glass of milk with soaked almonds….Read the headlines of the TOI.

Gave my maid instructions…..Attended my clients call..(She sounded so anxious)

Prepared the breakfast for Mr.Cheema….(this is some thing i m doing lately for 2-3 months now, after my maid for 3 years left.....and i love cooking for Mr.Cheema)

Had a quick shower…..dressed up in a Second…..put a quick dab of lipstick….

Did a quick inspection of the work done by my maid…..

Gulped few bites of breakfast….Again attended the call of my anxious client…..

Locked the doors and windows……..Checked the doors and windows again ….

Threw my belongings in the back seat of my car…….jumped into the driving seat….and I am off to Court…

Prehaps, just another morning!

Missing my Birthday.....

It was my birthday on 28th August- Yes, i don't know how and why but i am always a bit over excited for my birthday, just like a 5 year old. I simply love the date. Just at the starting of a new year, i never forget to check the day on which my birth day would fall. I know its eccentric but i am simply obsessed with my birthday date.

Well, this year too i started planning for my special day and as the day came closer it was difficult for me to remain sedate. I was quite firm on my idea of celebrating the birthday. This year i just cut off the idea of usual cake cutting. I wanted to spend the day doing what i really love to do.

Anyhow, the day begin with a lovely birthday hug from Mr.Cheema followed by calls from family and friends. This time i did not visited any temple or Gurudwara ( i regret not visiting one). I took an early shower and had a quick breakfast .

On the eve of my birthday i was so excited that Anna Hazare would be breaking his 12 days fast on 28th August at 10:00 am. I was so happy that finally the government is responding. I had switched on the television for the updates but all my excitement faded when i heard his comments on the Laloo Parsad Yadav's debate in the parliament. What Laloo had said was so Laloo kind but Anna's comment was also so very Laloo kind. I was so dis-appointed with his remarks and suddenly became so apathetic. But now i was happy that at least he would not die of hunger on my birthday. This was enough for me as i did not expected my birthday to be reminded as Anna's Martyr Day.

By the time it was 11:00 am, i had started off for Daryaganj. It was Sunday and i wanted to buy as many book i can. No where in the world i could get book at such inviting prices. I love books and reading and so do i love this enormous market. Otherwise, i hardly get a chance to visit this exotic book market and often end up buying books from costly stores. I had not been there from Yonks and it has always been a fun to see this place. But i know and had already decided to

spend my day the way i liked, so this visit was a must. I bought about quarter a dozen of books for myself. I am never woozy when it comes to books selection. My idea and taste of reading is clear, though i try new writers also. But i am a canny shopper when it comes to buying books as i don't want to waste a single buck on buying a book which i would never read.

After buying books which i surmise would be a help in satisfying my mental appetite, we thought to have some food for the actual appetite. In Daryaganj, itself we had fabulous 'Rabri Faluda'( my all time favorite) which couldn't be better in any place in the world other that 'Sadi Dilli'.

Evening was great as Mr. Cheema had already got the reservations done for a live theater show. Our friends V and P , who are also fortunately husband and wife were also invited.The 'Saksahm Theater Festival' is on in Delhi and both of us have always been a patron of such arts. We find watching a play on stage more relaxing than watching a television show or a movie on DVD. The Play 'Mrigthrishna' was a collection of four stories taken from a well known short story book named 'Mantu ki Kahaniya'. The Director Sunil Rawat had perfectly made the selections and had started one story so beautifully and had mingled it with the other that by the end of the play a full circle had completed. The theater group had recently emerged in the past but most of the actors were incredible. The experience was altogether different from watching Plays at Indian Habitat Center.

By 9:30 pm the play was over and four of us went for a lovely dinner courtesy Mr. Cheema. The food was wonderful. Over the Dinner we had great discussion on law, politics,books and other topics.

Finally, the Day ended with doing certain stuff that pleases me if not all. I really wish that birthdays should have at least 48 hours so that people like me can get an excuse to do what they have not done in yore and yonks due to their time consuming schedules.

Though i love birthdays but i feel they also have a side effect or i can better call it a hang over, which i always have on 29th August morning, that is i hate that my birthday is over and i feel so low which is quite contrary to my energy level on 28th. There is a very bad feeling that i have to wait for another 365 days to have 28th August back in my life. I know its so child like but what to do..............'Dil to Bacha hai ji'

After a Break

Hi....i am back on the blog after a long break. I was too busy and could not get time to do what i enjoy the most....writing. Thousand things came and went in my mind but i did not had the time to put them in words on the blog. But i wish to write and the craving was always there. I was busy with the organisation work, the account things, the interviews with the channels and alone in the month of January'2011, i had three interviews and one in the month of February. Then march and April also left me busy with the interviews with Focus TV.I could just post a video of few interviews on YouTube as i have not got the DVD's of the others.

Every day i promised to myself to write but could not keep my promise.Many new ideas came and went but i could not get the chance to write. My draft box is flooded with many half written posts which i don't know when i shall complete and post. If i am out of station i feel this very need to come back home and write something.

Well....lots of things happened in last few months apart from interviews...some good, some sorrowful...

Being a optimist, i don't want to write anything about the griefs and sorrows, i went through in last few months as i know no time remains the same and this shall also pass. But i shall love to write about the works i did and my achievements.

I have always found the idea of writing very palpable. Nothing has been more lively then writing....words, words,words every where....

Atlast i am back with a promise to myself to write.