Unwanted Host

Last Saturday, Mr Cheema asked me to get ready as we had to go and meet his friend.I was reluctant to go anywhere at this short notice. I had just return from work and it was already 7:00Pm.

Any how, i dressed up little more than casually, keeping in mind, his relationship with this friend and his family.

The address was already jotted on a paper 42 B and we reached the given address. The house was at the first floor of the huge plot divided into four big apartments. Mr. Cheema pushed the door bell button. A boy aged 17 came, he did not asked anything and just opened the door and asked us to sit down. We thought as we are already expected by our host, so we should just relax.

The apartment was a huge house. It was no doubt beautifully done. The decoration was just perfect.

The same boy entered with two glasses of water. He left without a single word. We were wondering where our host was!

just after 2 minutes, a man around 45 years of age entered the living room. He had bushy moustaches and thick beard. He was smiling and he came forward and hugged Mr. Cheema. Mr. Cheema looked surprised and i could read his face,that he was not able to recall who this person was.

He asked us politely to sit down and in no time ordered for tea.

In between Mr. Cheema said that he was unable to remember who this man is, I asked him to relax and said that this man could be his friend's father. For a second Mr. Cheema nodded and again turned back and said that his friend is 30 years of age and this man is about 45. I again gave my logic a kick and said that he might be his friend's some other relative,whom Mr. Cheema is not remembering at this moment.

The tea was as perfect as the house. The man was good to talk or i must say he was good at talking.....

For another half an hour he spoke continuously without giving us a chance to bat an eyelid.

We wanted to ask him about the friend and twice or thrice Mr. Cheema tried to make a call to his friend but this man would not let him make a call. He made Mr. Cheema his younger brother, after 10 minutes he made me his daughter, after another 10 min he became my brother, then he made Mr. Cheema his son....Oh my God!this instant relative was giving me nausea and upon it this sudden change of relations was making me angry....very angry.

He gave his contact number and asked us to call him back, we did so, he saved the number.

He started telling how he got this house, how he was a very wealthy person once, then how he became poor and then how he has attained this wealth....after every word he thanked almighty.

I wanted to leave, i was sleepy, i was hungry....and this non stoppable person was getting on my nerves.

Precisely after 1 hour,Mr. Cheema's friend called him and asked about our whereabouts. I could see a relaxed smile on his face and i sensed some hope to escape. He told Mr. Cheema that his address was B-42 and we have landed in a wrong house. Both of us thanked our unwanted host for the tea and asked for leave. But the host had something else on his mind, he said that he has multiple stones in his kidney and he needs to be operated. He said that as we are his relatives...are we?, he wanted some help from us.....the help was just 30,000/- bucks.

I was surprised, how in 1 hour he could make us his relatives and ask for money.

Mr. Cheema also had no answer, he maintained his cool and said that he was not carrying his ATM card and thus can not provide him with money.

The man started crying, he said that we can ask our friend to give him money and latter tomorrow we can return the money to our friend. He was uncontrollable. Mr. Cheema was feeling awkward. And.....

My anger was at its peak and i wanted to thrash him down, though i may not have that strength but i had this urge to hit him hard.

Mr. Cheema, apologised twice or thrice for not able to help him and we rushed towards the staircase. We made a fast escape in the car. On the way, we cancelled our visit to the friend's house and while driving itself, Mr. Cheema called his friend and asked him to excuse us for some days and promised to visit him soon.

When we reached the ridge area near my house. This is near Hindu Rao hospital. The phone ranged and i picked up the phone, the same person said that he was just behind us in a White Zen.

I was shocked, i could not understand why he was following us.

I told Mr. Cheema, by this time he was furious and i could see the usually cool Mr. Cheema annoyed. His jaw tightened. He said that his tolerance is over. He took the phone from my hand and asked the man why he was following us, the other man replied that he could manage with 10,000/- rupees also, if we manage to give him.

We knew this was a serious trouble and the person has our number, he has Mr. Cheema's business card and we can not shrug off this problem from our shoulders unhandled.

Mr. Cheema, took a turn and in no time our car was on the front compound of the Police Station Mauris Nargar.

The man followed us till the Police station, and he entered the compound. He was not scared, he came forward and asked what we were doing there!..

I was so pissed off with this man, and this question was enough for me and i replied, "We have lost 30,000/- bucks and i have this apprehension that this man in whose house we landed by mistake this evening has taken it off and we are going to the Police Station to report the same...".

He was shocked to hear this, it all came unexpectedly and he did not said that he has not taken the money, but he started running in the opposite direction where his car was parked. He was saying," I don't know you people, i have never seen you in my whole life.....i can understand you have been robbed, good you go and report, i have to go...i have something urgent to do...I can not help you my friend"

Who wanted his damn help!

We came out from the Police station, went back home, and i was wondering about this altogether new experience of life within 2 hours....The day ended and i thanked God that we came back home safe.

Room No-103, CAW Cell, ........(1)

Well, I shall be writing a lot on room no-103, Crime Against Women Cell, N.P, Delhi, where i visit every thursday to meet women who have been the victims of domestic violence.

These posts would be funny sometimes, sometimes they would be touchy, encouraging time to time, believe me you will never get bored. The posts shall hold my experience with these women. How they have been victimized, how they suffered and how they came out as a survivors. Different women different stories and every story one in itself.....

This time i will be writing about Anita (name changed). The reason to start from her story is that from the very beginning i want my readers to be clear that being a Women's rights lawyer, I am not someone who fights only for wives and wants to hang the husbands in the world till death.

For me the women for whom i come forward can be mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, or any other woman who is in a domestic relationship and is a victim of domestic violence.

So, here I go....

This girl came from a very good family of south Delhi. Her mother passed away when she was just 19 years of age leaving behind her, a 8 years old son, for Anita to take care of him. She was now the mother of her kid brother.

By the age of 21 she completed her graduation and wanted to do her masters in English literature, but her father asked her to join the once upon a time used to be a flourishing business. As after the death of her mother it was very difficult for him to carry on with the business alone.

Anita's dreams to read further evaded before she could even have the clue. Eventually, she started going to her posh Greater Kailash office with her father, who introduced her to all and sundry, of the business world.

With the passage of time and with great efforts she got familiar with every loophole of the pipes and cables business. She was intelligent and had an inborn sense for business which she had got from her mother's genetics.

She would work at office for hours, without any salary, she was more of a bonded labour, who was never ever compensated for the work she did.

The business was flourishing and her father was happy. Her brother was growing. It was a hard and long journey for her but no body thought about her, her marriage was never a matter of concern or discussion at home. She was young wanted to have so much in life, she had her own set of dreams, but being an Indian daughter it was not considered modest to talk about one’s own marriage. Well, they never asked and she never said....

Time flies too fast, her brother was now young and she was not more so young. He was complete with his studies and was not so happy to join the family business. He wanted to start his own consultancy, he was upset and felt desperate. He asked their father to close the well established business and help him to start a consultancy. Anita was not there in their list of consultants.

One fine morning her father announced that he was switching the business off and would be selling everything other than their house to give money to her brother. This came as a shock to her at the age of 36. But somewhere inside she was tired of working so hard and so long. Moreover her mind was too cluttered to respond and she nodded in consent.

Her brother very enthusiastically started his new business. Anita got busy with the daily household cores and looking after the father. Few months latter, her brother expressed his desires to get married. Her father was thrilled at the idea and already started shaping dreams of little ones who would run around the house calling him ‘Dadaji’. He started searching for a good match for his one and only son with great enthusiasm.

All this while, Anita was a mute spectator, who wanted to ask so many questions to her father, she wanted to ask why her dreams and happiness was not a matter of concern to her father, was she not worthy of dreams, but she was helpless as her modesty never allowed her to make any question to anybody.

The girl was chosen and the brother was married in no time. She was asked to give away the entire jewellery of her mother in her possession to the new bride. She did so without a question. She was happy to find a female company after a long time at home. She had so much to discuss with her new relative. But she was considered old to be a friend of the young girl and could never find a friend in her new relative.

Soon, her brother was a proud father of two beautiful children. The perfect happy family it was, having all father, mother, two kids and a grandpa. But where was she and who was she, nothing more than an extra piece of furniture. She was asked to move her belongings from the room at the first floor to the room at the ground floor which somehow fell at the backside of the house and her entrance was restricted from the front door. She was asked to use the back door of the house.

Not even two months had passed to this bizarre arrangement, her father, her very dear father asked her to leave the house. He asked her to make her arrangements. He said that he was comfortable if she finds someone on road and wants to run away with him. She was speechless, she could not hear this from the father, to whom she had never talked about finding a groom for herself and here he stands with such remarks and suggestion. She was even taken aback when her father expressed his willingness that he does not want there anybody to be a shareholder in his son’s house. He wanted his son to have it all.

Anita, was still in shock when she met me for the first time, she could not believe that at the age of 43, after giving her entire life for the sake of her family, she was standing alone, unwanted.

After I met her, I was just thinking about her for the next couple of days. I was restless. I had so many questions but no one to answer. Yes, I could help her if she returns back after making a decision to fight for herself, the decision which she only had to make. I was there for her, to help her, best and possible.

But what about my own queries!

Who will tell me, why this happened only with Anita and not her brother?

Why her brother’s dreams were important to her father and not Anita’s?

Why she was not considered worth for consultation for making big decisions such as marriage, when she was best for consulting business during her entire life?

Why it was his son’s house and not his daughter’s house?

Why she was a piece of unwanted furniture, useless and unrecognized, not fitting in the perfect family picture?

I know so many Why’s……..

But I think we all know the answers to these questions somewhere within us and we deny recognizing them….I wish if even one person shall recognize I will feel my writing to be blessed..

Thank You God.....

Sitting in the balcony of my Delhi Apartment,enjoying the weather outside,I am feeling so much to thank u my lord for so much you have given me.

The rain has started pouring and i can see you showering your blessings on trees outside my window, on the road next to my house, and on the people who did need it dreadfully. This is the time i feel this immense need to connect to you,to thank you.

I have always been spiritual but never religious. First and foremost i am thankful to you for forgiving me for not being religious.

I always think when i am alone,how much you love me, how much you gave me.

I know i have always been your favorite child...

I thank you for those mangoes, blackberries, oranges,..... the fruit list goes on and on

How can i forget to mention the faluda at kamla nagar, rasmalai from haldiram, that butter panner masala my all time delicacy, Coco berry frozen yogurt.... i know this will also be an endless list..

Now on a more serious note;

I thank you my lord for giving me mother. You were kind enough to give me three mothers (my own mother, my masi and my mother-in-law), each one of them had been a perfect mother to me time and again. Look i told you i am your favourite...

I thank you for my father,who loved me so much, who taught me to be honest and hardworking.

I thank you for giving me Mr. Cheema,the best husband in the world,who loves me for who and what i am. Who encourage me to follow my dreams, who stand by my side through all thick and thin.

Thank you for giving me a brother like S ( he is my massi's son but more than a real brother to me) who was there when i needed a brother most. He was the one who listen to my heart when entire world was deaf. Not forgetting his wife R, whom i shall always love for being a great human being and bhabhi.

Thank you for the new and lovely family you gave me after i got married.

My father -in-law who is now more than father to me. If someone ask me,i am more comfortable speaking my heart out in front of him as compared to my own father. I can vouch that he is the one person who would always stand by my side what may come.

My sis-in-laws J and K against all my apprehensions at the time of marriage, proved to be like my own sisters. Not a single day is passed when they do not worry about me,my health and pray for my happiness.

I am so so so very thankful my lord for the little Ansh you have given me, the selfless love i get from him, the smile that make me forget everything.

I thank you god for the friends you have given, who may be near or far but are always in my heart. Friends those who trust me, those who love me,those who fight with me and those who have forgotten me.

Thank you for your endless love you have always showered on me.

Thank u God.........

Inspiration

When i was a little girl, probably 5 or 6 years of age studying was last on my list. Though being intelligent,wit came naturally to me but books made me sleep. Dancing around the house was something i could do best. I was good student always striving to do better but Mathematics was more scary than any other horror movie. My mother work hard hard on me, she would make me sit for hours and solve those sums,one mistake and i was dead, She believed that if i could score excellent in all other subjects than why can't in mathematics. Finally i scored 100% in mathematics in my first standard and got a merit certificate for the same. This was the first and the last time i scored 100% marks in mathematics......and the credit for this goes to my mother.

Years latter when i was in 12th standard. My pre-board result was out. I went to school with my mum on the P.T.M (Parents teachers meeting). I had scored 45% in Political Science ( here i would like to mention that 40% was the passing percent). My Political Science Teacher ( Mrs. Vinoda) asked a very small question to my mother that how a child scoring good marks in other subjects has scored just passing marks in her subject. She was not angry she was just curious, she wanted to know what the problem was, was i not understanding the subject or it is she who was not a good teacher. My mother replied,"no she understands the subjects, once she knows what she is doing, she will leave no stone unturned to get what she wants, I think she will score highest in Political Science." Mrs. Vinoda was surprised as she knew that only 20 days were left for the board examination to begin.

Way back to home my mother was quite most of the time. She did not scolded me. She appreciated my marks in other subjects. She just said, "I know you were always like this bit careless, but i know once you decide its all yours,and it has always been in the past. So,give it a try, 20 days are more than enough for you. I promise i will never ask you to study Pol.Science in your graduation".

After reaching home I picked up my notebook reluctantly. I will not say i worked on Pol.Science day and night,but i must say i worked hard. Soon the exams started, I wrote my Political Science exam. But i never disclosed how the exam was to anybody.....not even to my mother.

Days passed and so the months. My Board result came out. I reached school with my mother. I rushed to the bulletin board were the result was displayed. Here i want to say, that in last few months i was not at all nervous, i was confident, there were no nightmares. But now,suddenly i was nervous. I was afraid not because of the result but the reason was that i could not imagine seeing my mother's belief shattering.

Keeping my fingers crossed i started searching my name....just then i saw my teacher (Mr. Vinoda) all smiles and surprisingly she asked my mother,"She scored 89% in Political Science, how! ". My mother looked at me,her face shining with glow and she replied back," I told you if she knows she can,she will".......I did not bothered to look at my marks in other subjects my friends were kind enough to do that for me...I was just happy as she was happy....

Latter i completed my graduation with Political Science (Hons.) from Daulat Ram College, Delhi University and rest is history....

What she told me while our way home from the parents teacher meeting has been a constant source of inspiration for me. Even today those words and her voice inspire me when i feel desperate...

I wish this post may inspire many others.....Thank you Mum...Love You.

Monsoon Weeding

Last week an old friend of mine with whom i had a small tussle few months back and we had stopped talking, called me. His number flattered on my mobile screen. I was bit surprised as this was unexpected, being on high ego he never called me in last one year. Anyways i answered the call and unexpectedly the reply from the other side came,"where were u all this time and u have such a big ego,u never called me once and never ever send an sms". I had already forgotten the old quarrel and was busy with my life. I had no qualms. The old friends finally united.

He told me that he had called me to invite me at his wedding which was fixed for 4th July'2010. I was overwhelmed when he said that how he could forget to call me at his wedding. I accepted the invitation. The very next day he came to my place and gave a formal invitation card.

Finally the D- date came. I all dressed in a beautiful saree, with matching jewelery, fancy shoes and off course not to forget my charming smile was all set to attend the marriage of my friend. I started for the venue with Mr. Cheema who looked as handsome as always. He was happy to see two old friends get united.

But....unfortunately as we reached the venue it started raining cats and dogs. Somehow at the same time 'Barat' had also arrived at the venue. I saw my friend all dressed up as a typical north Indian' Dullah' siting on the horse. All the 'Bratis' who were dancing on the road started running towards the venue to take shelter from the heavy rain, forgetting the 'Dullah'.

......I wanted to go out, congratulate him but i could not and sitting inside the car i was watching the entire episode. I tried to move out once or twice but the rain never allowed me to come out for a second.

Soon people made themselves comfortable in the indoors of the venue. Mr. Cheema and i were still in the car, waiting for the rain to stop. This wait was for more than half an hour. Finally it stopped raining and we got to go inside. All food was spoiled due to rain. I met many of my friends there but due to rain all enthusiasm had faded. Carrying saree on a monsoon wedding was more than enough for me. The high heels were another something to make me go crazy. I was just wondering why my friend had to get married in monsoon.

Somehow i found a way to reach my friend who was surrounded by lots of relatives. I could see the condition of the otherwise always happy go lucky kind of guy. My tussle with the saree was nothing in comparison to his struggle with the three piece suit he was wearing. Without even a single thought i handed him his gift, congratulated him and promised to be around.

But i proved to be a very bad friend i asked Mr. Cheema that we should leave the marriage and go out and have dinner as i was uncomfortable in the crowded venue with my attire.

Unaware of the thrill awaiting us, from the marriage we went off to Defense Colony in search of a restaurant which could provide us with some food at 12:00am. All our efforts in vain. At last we reached Nizamuddin Railway station which has this eating joint Kum Sum, we have had been there many times but this was so different, me in a saree and rain pouring. Oh my god it was just like hindi movies and people staring at me. I had never imagine myself like this. Having finished with dinner by 1:30 am we two driving on still wet with rain water delhi roads, singing loudly,enjoying the weather,all this was a life time experience for a girl like me who spends half of her life in a lawyers uniform.

The whole episode made me realize two things firstly monsoon time is not a good option to get married or attend a wedding and secondly Delhi is not that bad as people talk about it, still a beautiful place to go wild even during monsoon...so the moral of the story is go out and enjoy this monsoon...Happy Monsoon.

First Post...

Just Created a Blog. Used to write a lot when in school and college but in last few years work has not allowed me to write. Sometimes i feel a need to vent it all out and nothing better than a blog i found. Numerous thoughts wandering in my mind, my fears, my apprehensions, my desires, my little happinesses, my loved ones by the grace of god i don't have enemies, my dreams or i can say a bag full of different colors...DUSK TO DAWN...